What a weekend this was! I feel like I’ve grown as a person just over these past 3 days.
Friday night was definitely one for the books. It was one of those nights that you know will happen again, but you really wish you could just forget. My husband went out about 5:45 pm, and came home sometimes after 9 (I think! I honestly don’t know, time stopped the moment he was gone.) My son was having one of those “witching hour” nights, and my daughter was having one of those “I haven’t napped in 4 days and I’m so tired I can’t think straight” nights. I made her dinner and thought having some food in her belly would help her chill out. The problem was that her little brother wouldn’t stop fussing and crying. I had to be holding him with my boob out for him to stop. Yet even that only worked for a short time. He would just cry with my nipple in his mouth, and I cried because he just wasn’t stopping. I know that my reaction probably worsened his, but I am human and I have a limit.
Anyway, sissy maybe had three bites and decided she hated everything and starting crying non stop. What a joy our household was!! #sarcasm. She needed a bath and she needed bed. I didn’t give her a bath and I didn’t put her to bed. I just let them both scream while I put all of our pjs on, and sat the 3 of us in front of the tv at 9 pm. Terrible parenting decision on my part, but we all managed to regain our sanity for those 22 minutes. I finally just put her in her crib and let her cry. Thankfully my husband arrived shortly after with his new truck and big giant smile. He was so excited, and couldn’t wait to show me. But I had already decided around 7 that I was going to be angry at him. I tried hard to be awful, but his joy was infectious, and all I could muster was “I’m exhausted and it’s your fault somehow” level of anger. And I was so curious to see our new family vehicle, I couldn’t even hang at that level for long. I handed him the baby, and I went and grabbed our little lady from her crib. As a family we went out and checked out the new rig. Our daughter thought all the climbing room was spectacular, and our son had no idea what was going on, just that he was enjoying the crisp night air. And I was like wow this is really nice, and might even be worth the awful night I had. It was a full moon that night. Two of my sweet girls favorite things are the moon and the stars. Seeing the excitement on her face and hearing her say “look, the moon! Look, stars!” and pointing over and over again, all the tears and anxiety of the night earlier just washed away. My kids mean everything to me, and I love seeing the things that bring them happiness! It makes me feel so good inside to just let them be kids, let them discover on their own the things they enjoy.
Saturday we went for a spin, and I was in awe of how much room was in there! I could easily fit middle seat between two car seats! That would make my life so much easier (and a lot more comfy!). It was such a laid back day. We got nothing on our to-do list done, and I don’t regret a second of it. My husband is such a hands on father, and my children adore him!! Like, more than me. I’m convinced if he was able to lactate and breastfeed, my son wouldn’t care about me. And my daughter is goo goo eyed for her main man, her daddy . I realize so often that even in my trials, I am SO blessed! I am SO thankful! Life gets hard and it gets messy, and I have the best teammate to get through all the muck with! I love my husband more every single day! It always blows my mind how much he loves me too! I just count it all joy!
Saturday night I was channel surfing when I came upon The Passion of the Christ. If you haven’t seen it, I don’t know if I recommend it or not. It’s so painful to watch! I watched it because it’s been years since I saw it. My mom took me to see it in theaters, and that was the last time I remember seeing it. There were parts where I was physically uncomfortable in my body. Seeing the pain and torture He went through as a man, and knowing why He did it, it makes it a bit hard to breathe!
I’m thankful I stopped on that channel, because it reminded me of why we celebrate Easter Sunday. We celebrate because that man Jesus suffered and died for our sins. He gave it all so we could have it all. I fear pain, but I don’t fear death. I know I get to go to Heaven because I’ve given my life to the Lord, and Jesus paid for my salvation. Jesus saved me. Jesus is the reason I’m alive. Trying to grasp what He did, it’s a hard concept to fully swallow, to fully understand. But I know that I will forever follow Him and the footsteps He paved before me.
We had a lovely Sunday with my husband’s family. My daughter did her first egg hunt, and she rocked it! Granted her only competition was our dog, and we stopped her before she could get any, but hey that’s not the point here! All I can say is the same thing I said above. The joy and happiness on her face makes everything I do worthwhile. We also had some AMAZING food, and I ate wayyyy too much of course! I love holidays.
This weekend will go down as one of my favorites. Spending any amount of time with my family makes me feel so good, but this weekend held a lot of firsts, and I will grow as a person because of them.
And now we are back to the dreaded Monday. My husband left for work, as he always does on week days. But he and I got to enjoy breakfast and coffee together before our babes woke up, and it was such a wonderful time. Sweet Shiloh woke up a very happy girl, and Solomon gave me a handful of smiles when I got him out of bed. Peace filled me, and I feel ready to take on the day, good or bad. Thank you children for making my world go round .
Thank you Father for your Son, for my family, for my life. I have the opportunity to be married to the man of my dreams, and he works so hard I get to stay home and be with our kids. I get to be there for all their firsts. What a blessing my sweet life is
By grace through faith,